Letter 9

Dear you,

I don’t know exactly what I want in life. I used to know. When I was younger, everything was clear as day. Everything in life made sense, and I thought I could predict where I was going to end up.

Was I wrong? Of course. Was I a fool? No. I didn’t know better, and I don’t think ignorance necessarily labels one a fool. However, if you think it does, I guess we’re all fools then, and if we’re all fools, are we all fools?

Lately, I have been frustrated with myself. I have been looking at myself for answers that I cannot supply. I’m experiencing life for the first time right now, but that doesn’t stop everything from moving forward. I have to keep up and figure it all out simultaneously.

I have been stressed, though. I have been falling down at times, more times than I wish. I have been feeling lonely in my struggles.

When do we have to grow up? And why do we have to?

We get serious in life to build a career. This career consumes the majority of our days, in turn, the majority of our weeks, and before we know it, the majority of our lives. Yet, this job is rarely the most important thing to us. Many times, it’s about the money. You know, the special paper that buys you food, clothes, a house, etc.

But why do we need money for these things? Why do we have to pay our way through life? It’s such an interesting concept, don’t you think?

The structures we have in place, the laws established, fascinate me. People create rules and codes for the rest of the people… Have you ever thought about it?

I’m very strict about keeping rules. I’m a very “by the book” kind of person. I guess this is why I started thinking about it. 

Here’s another thought. School, or more specifically, university. We’re studying other people’s findings. We take exams to practice a compilation of discoveries. But what schooling did these pioneers, who are the pillars of our education, have? If I were to independently read textbooks and develop my own theory, would it be valid? Or would I need exams for proof to say that my brain is smart enough?

Why is it that I conform to social norms? Am I scared? Have I become obedient?   

I think my questions irritate some, while others don’t even hear what I voice.

I have so many questions. Do you too? Does everyone have these questions, but I’m just part of the minority who hasn’t learned to ignore them?

Am I supposed to ignore them?

Yours Truly,

RCG

P.S. I believe in rules, and school is highly important. I just have questions and believe there is room for improvement.